how to cure torpor

... make a to-do list!

I'm finding events fast overtaking me. My two-year position at the Fed is nearly up, and suddenly I'm obliged to be making decisions about the future. As anyone who's talked with me more than once about the subject knows, I change my mind about what I should do next just about every time I think about it.

Since procrastinating will soon no longer be an option, I'm suddenly feeling very motivated to figure things the hell out.

• Step #1: I signed up to take the GRE's in five weeks, and went out to get myself a prep book. Vocabulary flashcards on the metro turns out to be sort of fun! And amazingly, I'm encountering more than a few words that I've never even seen before, let alone know the definitions of. April 2nd is test day. Hopefully I can re-learn geometry by then. Why take the GRE's? Apart from various practical reasons, it's symbolic of moving forward - of doing something. It signifies to myself, if no one else, that I intend to make some kind of decision some day. Possibly. Maybe.

• Step #2: Casually search for jobs to take post-Fed. I'm only planning on applying to jobs that seem absolutely great. If something comes of it, great. And secretly,if nothing turns up, I'm planning on interpreting it as a sign that I should cut loose and plunge wildly away from the practicalities of good salaries, respectable institutions, and competitive striving. I could move to Knoxville and sell home-made ice cream with my sister. Maybe the air on Gay Street will give me a little bit of what it gave Cormac McCarthy.

• Step #3: Don't injure myself trying to get fit for this race in April... seriously, my legs are in agony.

• Step #4: Show up at a practice LSAT in April, just to see what the test is like, and whether I do reasonably well. This is a bit of a hedge against the "cut loose and plunge" option above. It makes doing something heedless like spending a year reading my brains out and writing short stories -- or trying to -- seem less frightening. Because I could always high-tail it back to those practicalities - the ones that feel so constraining right now.

• Step #5: TBD. I guess this one depends on what happens -- a new, practical job, or a heedless plunge. I'm on the edge of my seat...

this might be a terrible idea....

For the first time ever yesterday, I had such bad cramps in my calves that I had to stop running.
Actually, I could hardly walk, they were so seized. I must have looked quite the sight, crossing the intersection by the Georgetown boathouse in my running clothes, limping dramatically.

So this crash start in running training might not be the best idea ever. I'm hoping that my body will remember that it once was extremely fit (I'm only just now beginning to appreciate how fit I really was last summer...) and that if I just endure the suffering for a couple weeks, I'll hit a turning point.

In the meantime, here is a graphical depiction of what all this running feels like to my poor shocked leg muscles:

Back at it

Ok, so I haven't exactly been a fervent poster on this blog... two posts in 6 months is not very good.

But after a long hiatus, I'm running again (practically against my will) which seemed like a good opportunity to try again!

Here's the deal: since the race in August I've been running about three times -- once with my funny brother, who has only recently taken it up, and who wiped the floor with me on the hills at home. As a way to inspire myself to get back into it, I signed up for the 2008 Cherry Blossom ten miler (April 6th). Or, sort of signed up: I got on the wait list for the Fed's Credit Union team, and then didn't think much more about it. Apparently wait lists are not good at inspiring me to run....

But last week, when down at the credit union to do a deposit, I was informed that a spot had opened up. So now I have six weeks to shed about 7 or 8 winter pounds, and go from no running to running 10 fast miles... (because of course I can't resign myself to just finishing - no, I want to finish fast...)

Last week I ran five days in a row, finishing the week with a six or so mile "long" run. My legs are in shock: they thought we were retired. They hurt like hell this week - yesterday my first run for this week was more like a shuffle.